#Skizz and Mumbo would be cool

[smoozie]

In a hypothetical Double Life pt2 with all 18 life series members, what would be the funniest combination of soulmates?

[enkays-den]

Hermits as birds from where they live/were born!

note: my knowledge is centered around North American birds, so sorry if the european ones aren't super accurate

Bdubs: Northern Saw-Whet Owl. He's just a little guy with big eyes. Small and evil, love him

Cub: Common Starling. Skulk like-iridescence, incredibly friendly. Plus, with Cub running the horn store this season, he NEEDED to be the bird that can imitate pretty much any noise it hears

Doc: Bonelli's Eagle. Large raptor found in Germany. It's straight "brow" and hunched posture remind me of Doc

Etho: Common Loon. THE! CANADIAN! BIRD! Despite being "common", their pattern is simply EXQUISITE Plus, it has a red eye! Also listen to the noises these things make, it's literally stock nature sounds all in one bird. Also, I'd put Etho on my one dollar coin.

False: Barn Owl. Very elegant owl, I just feel it suits her, that's all. Very stately posture.

Gem (Season 10 specifically): Great Blue Heron. It's a fisher, it's blue, it's menacing, what more could you ask for?

Scar (Hotguy): Double-crested Cormorant: A waterfowl bc scar did competitive swimming, it's got a slightly funky shape which I feel suits scar's personality. It also has the Hotguy colors!

Grian: Eurasian Bullfinch. Parrot Grian will not reign supreme. Look at that little guy. He's mischievous, he's red, I do not trust him.

Hypno: Stellar's Jay. My provincial bird! I just think both have very chill and cool personalities

Jevin: Lazuli Bunting. Just a little blue guy!

Impulse: American Goldfinch. Black and yellow, need I say more?

Iskall: Booted Eagle. Something about a stout raptor just feels right. Look at that posture. Reminds me of when Iskall tries to copy the brits' accents.

Joe: Turkey Vulture. Although seen as odd or menacing, all vultures are integral to the local ecosystem and are in actuality, very elegant and gentle birds.

Keralis: Boreal Owl. Yes, I did make the two guys with big eyes owls, What of it? LOOK at him. Put a little hardhat on him, put a little hawiian shirt on him. Precious sweet face.

Mumbo: Avocet. It's basically a vibe check and a mustache joke.

Peal: Black Swan. Big 5AM Pearl vibes. Giant, beautiful, protective. Love that for her.

Ren: Giant Kingfisher. Obligatory King Ren joke, it's a South African bird, and it's kinda goofy looking. I think the speckled feathers look like a ruffled fur collar on a king's cape.

Skizz: Golden Eagle. Large, majestic, hella strong, and he's wearing pants :3

Joel: Tree Swallow. Very small, beautiful, agile bird. The swallow's wings remind me of Asian art styles.

Stress: Magpie. GOR-JUS and LOUD. Imagine her next to Iskall (they're very similar in size, bless them)

Tango: Swainson's Hawk. I fought every bone in my body to not make an Arizona Cardinals joke when I already made a Phoenix Coyotes one maybe half an hour before. The Swainson's hawk is on the smaller size, but still a deadly spitfire, which I think suits Tango

TFC: Brown Pelican. A solitary bird, definitely a rare sighting. TFC was always joking about how much he would eat, I thought a pelican was apt

Beef: Barred Owl. MY FAVORITE OWL. I literally call them 'round beefy boys' and they're just so sweet and I love them

Wels: American Kestrel. I LOVE these little guys. Simply the smallest, cutest and beautiful falcon there is. They're about the size of a pigeon. It's just got such a regal posture despite being a little cutie.

XB: Rock Pigeon. Despite being common and seen as a "dumb pest", they are pretty intelligent, there's a reason they were used to carry messages around. They're also a close relation to doves! The green collar also is like the jacket collar on his skin.

Xisuma: Semipalmated Plover. X and Mumbo were both chosen because of how those birds run on the beach. They're RIDICULOUS. This subspecies is exclusively because it look like he's wearing a little helmet.

Zedaph: Firecrest. Just the GOOFIEST little guy I found on the wiki of British birds. Look at that thing /aff. Also, Zed do be blowing up a lot

Cleo: Partridge. Beautiful bird, looks like they want to kill you in your sleep, just like Cleo.

[ivys-garden]

Here's a clearer version of the Hermit Falls Zodiac (+ the og Journal Page)

Here's everyone's roles in the au:

Sunbeam & Cresent Moon: Grian & Pearl (Dipper & Mabel) - twins of divorced parents who were sent to a Nowhere town for autumn break to reconnect after being separated. Currently living with their great uncle Scar. When Grian finds a strange journal in the woods he and Pearl become obsessed with uncovering the secrets of this town. Ps, Tilly is Waddles :3

Top Hat: Scar (Stan) - the twins Grunkle and the proprietor of Trader Scars: The House Of Wonders!, a local tourist trap. He seems to spend a lot of time in the basement.

Lowercase i: Impulse (Soos) - local handyman at Trader Scars, father figure for the twins.

Cool S: Skizz (Wendy) - cashier at Trader Scars, generally laid back but will deck you if you hurt his friends

Rocket Ship: Cub (Ford) - genius scientist who lived in Hermit Falls decades ago, Scar says he jumped towns and left the Trader Scars building to him, but no one's heard from him since

Fancy Mustache: Mumbo (McGucket) - local mad inventor living in the junkyard. Insists his name is "Big Ron" Cub always looked guilty when he saw him…

Gemstone: Gem (Pacifica) - daughter of a rich family staying in Hermit Falls on a business trip. gets bored and decides to have a rivalry with Pearl. Just cuz

Old Skull: Cleo (Robbie) - local artist and mortician. Sorta tried to kill Pearl on her first week in Hermit Falls. Tensions were high between them and Grian after that

@ Symbol: Joe Hills (Gidion) - owner of a rival tourist trap: Joe Hills’ Tent O’ Magic, where he puts on dazzling acts of poetry, music, Puppet shows and magic tricks. Everyone seems to like him, but Scar doesn't trust him

Joel (Bill) - interdimensional Demon watching over Gravity Falls. Burt his home dimension to the ground. Still hears her his friends in the back of his mind. Why did he do it?

Will I continue this? Maybe? I'm busy atm but I like the concept. I've sketched some designs but nothing I'm super happy with so far.

Ps If any of yall can come up with a surname that fits Pearl, Grian & Scar (maybe Cub two not devided if him and Scar are brothers yet) that would be cool ;)

Also, well done to @harley-the-pancake & @octopus-defence-squad at correctly decoding almost everything! I'd give you cookies if I could

[origamibears]

some predictions for the next life series:

- Joel win!!!!

- Impulse win?

- Etho Joel and Gem team up (Etho and the Ethogirls)

- Lizzie Mumbo or Jimmy out first….. and maybe a team up? (the underdogs)

- Lizzie and Scar team up (personally would love to see Scar and all the ladies on the same team lmao)

- Joel and Scott team up (enemies to lovers duo)

- Grian and Scar avoid each other at all costs but inevitably end up in some sort of alliance and ultimately a betrayal

- BigB does some weird shit

- Skizz and Scar team up

- BDubs and Etho have an alliance because obviously

- GemPearl team up

- everybody has a great time and it’s a really cool and fun experience :)

[fountainpenguin]

Tango POV Session 3 highlights (My first POV this session, jumping in with no spoilers)-

Skizz: "I want a giant blinking heart in the sky" Tango: "Cool idea :) You're doing the redstone, right?" Skizz: ... Tango: "YOU'RE doing the redstone for that, right?"

Skizz: "While editing I was like... 'Am I a loser?' Tango: "No, no, no! It was well before editing that I realized that."

I do love the server dynamics that give us gems like Mumbo sprinting across the ground yelling about how he has a quick, urgent thing he needs to do... Just an average day in the death game.

slkdjf Tango and Skizz finally found someone just as desperate and needy as them... Enter the man who has been shunned for 3 seasons because of his boogeyman kill. We love a BigB!!

BigB: "Skizz, this might be time to point out my weak building skills-" Skizzleman: "Oh no, don't worry. That's why we've got ourselves a Tango!" Tango: /incoherent shrieking and denials

Tango assigned homemaker by the narrative.

So just to be clear, we've got Tango "I will teach you redstone and cheer you on" (Mansplain), we've got BigB "There is no hole in the mesa" (Manipulate), and Skizz "I built the base" (Malewife). Good for them.

Skizz: "At my IRL job when I had to create blinking lights, I literally had someone go back to the breaker and flip it."

Tango, to Cleo: "That's all we are! Cringe 'R' Us!"

sdlkfj Tango hugging and comforting Torchy over how scary Etho's water bucket attack was. "If he comes back, I will take care of this."

BigB: "I have an anvil." Tango and Skizz losing their minds: "BEST TEAMMATE EVER!"

Heart Foundation: "We will join forces and gift our hearts to a randomly selected person. Everyone will like and protect us; we are creating our own plot armor." Etho, immediately after receiving his hearts: "I am a huge fan. Sign me up. Whatever I need to do to stay on. I will let you use the enchanting table. I would be dead if it were not for the Heart Foundation."

Gem and Scott riding up on their zombie and skeleton horses would be SO terrifying. Can't wait to see the fanart of that sdfklj

Tango killed it this session, he did not cut corners in babbling to Torchy.

Gem: "I think your task is to remove light sources from the server." Tango: "That would be very incorrect." Tango as he sprints away, muttering to Torchy: "I know?? They were standing right by us and they didn't even notice??"

Torchy has such boogeyman tendencies, geez. Is this Leven Thumps; did we confine the spirit of the boogeyman to a piece of wood??

Tango, raiding someone's base: "You want to? We could."

I enjoy the new rule about Yellows having one chance to call people out on their task. I think this is a good move to up the tension and also encourage people to do it because you only get one shot per episode. Don't wanna waste it!

slkdjf @ Tango chatting with Etho, Etho susses out his task, so Tango immediately runs to Grian to confirm the rules. Grian tells him no problem, Etho's green so he's in the clear. Tango runs off crowing in laughter.

Lizzie: "I've heard some weird things about you." Tango: "We are excellent today." Lizzie: "That's the weird stuff I've been hearing."

?? Is Tango's official canon that redstone exposure turned his eyes red? Neat.

lksdjf Skizz seething about Impulse.

Tango: "What did he do?" Skizz: "His task was to find somebody who's got greater than 25 hearts and find a way to - air quotes - "accidentally" get them to lose 5 hearts. So he made sure I lost 20."

Yeah, that tracks.

Freaking goodness, Tango put his entire heart and soul into this invisible friend task.

Bdubs' globe is looking amazing <3

?? Etho running up to Joel and saying "I love you?" What is the context; looking forward to figuring that out.

Etho: "I love you." Joel: "Okay, I know you're obsessed with me, I saw you made me your thumbnail of your first episode, but come on..."

Called out at the end!!! Devastating!!!

That is the end, but what a great session. So much death...

[purrrrplecats]

for the new life series who do you want to team up. Personally I would like:

Desert duo (idiots people that dont know, this is Grian and Scar)

Shiny duo. (Pearl and Gem)

Gem, Pearl, Lizzie and Cleo (because they would be so op)

or Gem, Etho and Joel (and you all know why)

Scott, Tango and Lizzie would be cool

Mumbo and Skizz would be funny

Jimmy, BigB and Martyn

and thats it. I'm just throwing ideas around.

[lectern-fullcauldron]

Imagine the wood collective if Doc hadn't traded for permits and instigated high stakes, high speed wood vending. Beef, Skizz, Joe, Zed, and Mumbo. The chill weird guy collective would have been such a cool vibe. I have no idea what they'd have got done, but it would have been phenomenal.

Anyway, I can't wait to see Doc figure out he's signed a contract with the guy who joined hermitcraft convinced it was a scam and who reads legal notes for fun. He's signed a contract with Joe 'respect labour laws' Hills. Joe 'big salmon are too trusting' Hills. 'I own you', Doc says, but I think he'll come to learn that he doesn't. He does not get Joe's proxy vote. He does not own Joe's permit. Joe wrote that contract, and Doc signed it

[thefireintheshadow]

He’d done it. He’d gotten his mending book.

[authors note: this seems like a cute little fic about grian and his mending book but it is in fact a dark mafia fic jsyk…]

Grian couldn’t believe it had finally happened. It was so surreal that he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

He went through the motions of cleaning himself up. It felt good to shave, see some color on his cheeks. Even his eyes were brighter.

When he returned to the dock to clean up all of his fishing gear, there was a silhouette in the setting sun. He couldn’t make out who it was, a broad frame almost haloed in glittering red.

“Hello, Grian.”

He squinted. “Beef?” As he grew closer, he could make out the source of the glittering, a suit that appeared to be crafted from salmon scales. “Wow.”

“Been doing a lot of fishing lately?” Beef asked, running a hand up one of the pillars of the little hut.

Something felt off in Grian’s gut. Something in his friend’s tone felt…predatory. It couldn’t be. This was Beef. He was one of the sweetest guys around. “You could say that,” he said, trying to keep his tone light. “But I’m all good now, got my mending book.”

“Is that so?” Beef cocked a brow, and stuck both hands in his pockets, as if on a casual stroll. Something in his gait screamed danger, though, and was this just too much time spent in death games? Was this overflow from Secret Life and Demise and—

Beef stopped on the block over Grian’s storage room. No.

“Why don’t you come on downstairs?” Beef asked, but it was hardly a request. “Because somehow I don’t think you’re all good.”

He pulled out a handful of seeds and composted them, disappearing through the floor.

Grian’s pulse thundered in his ears. What the hell was going on? How did Beef find out about his secret area? And what the hell was up with that suit? His head spun.

On the surface this would look like a fun prank. A bit.

But it didn’t feel like a bit. It didn’t feel fun.

He didn’t want to go down there.

But something told him he needed to, some instinct buried deep. Though surely Beef just wanted to make a deal for something in the chests down there, right?

Heart hammering, he composted and dropped down.

But there was nobody there. His guts twisted. Beef meant down downstairs. This was getting weirder and weirder, and that sense of danger felt sharper and heavier.

He dropped down into the cave and his heart ceased to work.

He couldn’t quite register at first the tableau in front of him. His gaze zeroed in on Mumbo’s face, beautiful skin marred by blood and tears.

“Grian! They’ve gone-” Mumbo cried, but his words choked off on a scream as a sickening snap echoed and suddenly time seemed to stop.

Grian’s ears buzzed, as if no other senses other than his sight were capable of working at a time. Mumbo was on his knees, hands behind his back, face twisted in pain. Skizz stood behind him, muscled arms gleaming as he took the kneeling man’s disheveled hair in one of his fists.

Skizz didn’t look quite right, though. His eyes were too big, almost bulbous, and too far apart. His face shone with what Grian had at first thought was sweat, but no, it was as if his skin were made of…scales? And nowhere was that soft, sweet, fun-loving Skizz energy. He looked maniacal. A maniacal, half-mutated fish man.

And Beef. Beef in his salmon-scaled suit, still cool as a cucumber, hands in his pockets, watching the scene with detachment.

Grian sucked in a deep, ragged breath as his lungs screamed for air, and time seemed to start again, his brain somehow catching up with the fact that he couldn’t just watch the scene forever.

“Walk with me, Grian,” Beef said, strolling towards the redstone door.

“No!” Grian cried, his entire body quivering. “What are you doing to Mumbo? Skizz!” He took a step forward, but in a flash, Skizz jerked Mumbo’s head back, exposing the tender flesh of his throat, and pressed a glittering diamond sword against it.

“I already broke his wrist, want another lesson?” he warned, and something was wrong with his voice, it sounded so distorted.

“My associate here will take good care of Mumbo,” Beef said as the door opened. “I’d like you to show me this room.”

Grian swallowed hard, staring at Mumbo with desperate eyes, the man he cared about most in this world, the man he’d do anything for. Somehow, somehow he’d fucked up and now Mumbo was in pain and there was fucking nothing he could do. Why hadn’t he brought any weapons down here? Why hadn’t he acted on his instincts up there…god.

A drop of crimson beaded on Mumbo’s throat, and he hissed in pain.

“You’d better go, your little friend has thin skin,” Skizz warned gleefully.

“I’m going, I’m going,” Grian said, forcing his feet to move, one in front of the other, towards Beef, towards the door…away from Mumbo. “Please stop hurting him.” The words came out so disgustingly weak sounding, and he hated it. He wanted to press his thumbs into Skizz’s mutant eyes until they popped out of his fucking head, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything.

Skizz lowered the sword at least, and Grian scurried after Beef into the manifest room.

“Tell me about this,” Beef said once the door closed behind them, spreading his arms.

“It’s my…my manifesting mending room,” Grian said, and it sounded so stupid now. He had to admit he’d gone a little batshit with all of that fishing, with his obsession. What did this have to do with Beef and Skizz, though?

Beef pursed his lips, shaking his head. “It looks to me like a cod-worshipping room,” he said.

Grian’s blood rushed through his ears. Was this what this was all about? Types of fish? “No, they were just, easier to build statues of,” he insisted. “The color palette-”

“I don’t believe you,” Beef snarled, and his blazing anger was so jarring after being calm for the entire exchange. “Big Cod is trying to get a foothold here and my employer is not going to let that happen.”

“What are you talking about?” Grian asked, head spinning. “This is literally just for me, you can see my painting at the other end-”

“I saw the painting,” Beef interrupted, turning his back, clasping his hands there, walking down the platform to look at the painting in question. “Quite an expensive piece, for a fisherman.”

Grian scrubbed his hands down his face. “Well I’m not just a fisherman-”

“No, you’re not,” Beef said, whirling on his heel. “You know, my original thought when I was tasked with eliminating the cod threat was just to blow this whole thing to hell with you inside it.” He raised a finger. “But I thought, no need to make such a mess. I think I can bring you to heel with the right motivation.”

As if in cue, the redstone door opened, and Skizz dragged Mumbo in, shoving him back to his knees. His nose was freshly bleeding, and he looked about to collapse completely.

“Beef, please, whatever you think this is, it’s not,” Grian begged, whirling back towards him. “I swear I don’t know anything about…big cod-I just-”

There was a thump and Mumbo groaned.

Grian whirled again as Skizz pressed his boot against the man’s back, shoving him into the floor.

“Stop hurting him!” Grian cried, turning back to Beef. “Please, what do you need me to do? Just stop hurting him!”

Beef reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar – since when did he smoke? – and flicked a zippo, taking his time lighting it evenly. He puffed, then tossed the zippo over his shoulder, landing it neatly at the bottom of the painting.

It went up quickly. Grian watched the flames, swallowing hard. He was happy to trade the painting for Mumbo’s safety, but it was still hard to watch it go up like that.

“Since you have your mending book, you won’t be needing that anymore,” Beef said, smoke trailing as he strolled up the walkway, free hand back in his pocket. “And since you’re certainly not working for Big Cod, you won’t need this room anymore. Dismantle it. Destroy it.” He pointed at Grian, cigar smoldering between his fingers. “I will be checking. And you don’t want to have this meeting again, do you? Who could I motivate you with next? Gem? Or how about Scar?”

Grian shook his head vigorously. “No, you don’t have to motivate me, I’ll do it.” He took a step back. “Please, just let Mumbo go and I’ll do it right now.”

Beef patted him on the cheek, chuckling as the sickly-sweet smoke made him cringe. “Yes you will,” he said, and stalked past him, snapping his fingers on his way by Skizz. “Kill him.”

Grian screamed, launching himself towards them, but he was too late, Skizz stabbed Mumbo through the back of the skull and Grian landed on the hard floor, next to the bundle of bloodied ropes left behind.

“I don’t want to see your face on the surface until it’s done,” Beef said as Skizz crossed the threshold. “Or else.”

The door closed, leaving Grian alone and sobbing on the floor.

[read on ao3]

[sleepiestwizard]

okay im gonna put all my thoughts about the hotguy zinethology on here based on the incoherent ramblings my friends received while i was reading it

(obviously spoilers below the cut)

okay so first of all the first part was SO fucking funny i cried laughing multiple times

the first time i saw cute guy i SCREAMED

HOTGUY TRYING TO GET CUTEGUY TO JOIN HIS UNION AND GRIAN JUST GOING. NAH. WAS SO FUNNY

@cornpapers draws scar SO pretty

mumblr is SUCH a funny name 10/10

the "dont you think cuteguy and hotguy having matching names and outfits is queerbaiting" post is SO FUNNY

THE GRIANVERSE

SHE'S HERE !!!!!!! ARIANA GRIANDE !!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. GRIAN LOOKS LIKE THE SAD HAMSTER

REALLY GOOD PANEL

this whole comic was so funny i loved it loved the cub

THE EMAILS PART WAS ALSO SO FUNNY

this is such an interesting and fun way to tell a story i loved the email part

in general the posts and stuff were SO funny and very realistic for the internet 😭

yeah

grian desperately trying to not let scar reveal his identity 😭😭 girl (this also hits so different now after reading the whole thing btw.)

the comparison to a wild horse in this first fic also killed me

i can't really put a lot of images but there were some really classic superhero comic looking panel that i thoroughly enjoyed

scar tangled in his own grappling hook. classic. very funny

I LOVED THIS FIC SO MUCH. scar voice this is gonna ruin the tour. grian voice what tour. scar voice the world tour.

scar saying he's playing volleyball. haikyuu reference!?!?!?

just putting this here

LOVEDDDD THIS GEM DESIGN

moon mask i immediately called pearl yes pf course

GRIAN REFUSING TO SHOW EACHOTHER THEIR IDENTITIES AGRHRGRHRVH

"you and your cuteguy" arggrgrhsggrgrhgr

murder camel REAL !!

I DIDN'T TRUST THIS FOR A SECOND. PEARL AND HER SOUP I DONT BUY IT

"i cant believe you guys fucking killed jimmy solidarity" <- actual message i sent to mochi

SCOUR KNOWING SCARS NAME. AGRHSGRHRGRHV

i literally had to Go Take A Walk after this fic

i really like how the pearl thing was resolved in this it felt like such a good act 2 reoccurring villain exit. very superhero comic/movie like or even dnd like

'vincent berger' made me laugh

ZEDDIT

MOCHI FIC !!!!

first off every single fic has SUCH a cool cover i love them all

poor grian has ptsd :((

i LOVEEE how mochi writes angst always they're so good at it

the fact that he never found jimmys body immediately made me call the fact that he wasn't really dead and would come back btw

gem would lovee to drive grian slowly crazy tbh

"IVE COME TO PICK UP MY BIRD" AGRHRGRHGRHRVRBTBJRG

JUST LOOK AT THAT GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!!!

i was going insane at this point

this whole zine had me feeling like that meme thats like first i laughed.. then i serioused (the first part was SO funny and then golden era was psychic damage /pos)

IMPULSE :D

GEMPEARL <33 they are so everything to me

SCAR WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SUSPICIOUS POSSIBLY EVIL FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY ON YOUR BODY. SIR.

NOT THE DESTIEL MEME

they look SO fucking cute

both scar and grian look sooooo scrumptious in this comic argh

THE MIND CONTROL. THE. RHE MIND CONFNTOL.

THESE 2 FULL PAGES ARE ABSOLUTELY SO INSANE. I WAS AND STILL AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

THIS IS SO. GOD THIS

THE WAY GRIAN JUMPED AND SCAR JUMPED AFTER HIM. THEYRE CRAZY !!!!!!!

THE WIPING THE BLOODY NOSE AND THEN SMILING LITERALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE TOOK THE MASK OFF

mumbo <3

THE HUG. ☹️☹️☹️

great big beautiful tomorrow :((( the parallels :((

GRIAN BEING TOO FLUSTERED BY SCAR KINDA FLIRTING THAT HE DIDN'T REALISE HE WAS DROPPING HINTS ABT HIS IDENTITY WAS SO FUNNY

cutiebird..

scar playing w his hair when cuteguy was hurt :(( so cute

REALLY FUNNY

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS ☹️☹️

the tcg voice: theyre holding hands.. i want them dead

SKIZZ !!!!

ETHO !!!!!!!!!!

awhh skizzly :((((

THIS IS SO UPSETTING

"It's our Impulse, Gem" IM SO UPSET SHUT UP

god the way she puts on the mask and immediately is emotionless im gonna throw up

OBSESSED. THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME

im so obsessed w this cuteguy i love him

grian voice omg im the only bitch serving cunt in this place im so embarasseddddd

they are serving SO much in this comic

ETHO EYHO ETHO ETHEO

SCAR APPOINTING GRIAN AS LEADER. EARURGRHVRH THEY'RE EVERYTHING

READING THIS WAS SO CRAZY IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE WATCHING ENDGAME

JIMMY SOLIDARITY !!!

MUMBO JUMBO !!!!!

impulse thinking about skizz as he's dying :(((((

HE DID IT ALL FOR SKIZZ :(((((((((

i was so upset this made me sob like a baby

SOUP GROUP :(((

SKIZZLY!!! :(((

warden :/

SCAR PEARL INTERVIEW :( HOTGUY RETIRING :( I LOVE THEM

THE CHEMICAL MUTATING PEOPLE IS JUST ESTROGEN BEING A GIRL JUST DOES THAT TO YOU

grian and scar playing volleyball is that a haikyuu reference....

OH THIS PEARL IN THIS COMIC IS REALLY GOOD

cuteguy is so spiderman coded

GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE !!! SOBBING !!!!

god all in all this was so crazy. it was such an obvious labour of love and everyone who was involved with it did such a good job and obviously put so much love into it AND IT WAS WORTH IT !!!! insanely good work thank you to everyone for doing this and sharing it for free?? @hotguycomiczine y'all are crazy. incredible work <333

[solargeist]

What the relationships between different Hermits and Kid Xelqua are like:

POSITIVE!

Mumbo - Pretty positive all things considered. He manages to entertain him, and generally is a good uncle figure.

Scar - The favourite. Scar gives him unlimited access to snacks and all sorts of unhealthy food (much to Grian’s chagrin). Once gave him so much sugar, Xelqua entered a 5 hour long sugar rush. Grian still hasn’t forgiven him yet because it was an absolute nightmare.

Doc - Surprisingly positive. Despite Doc’s turbulent relationship with Grian, Doc has a soft spot for kids. He’ll drop any kind of tension when Xelqua’s around to not worry him. He’ll still absolutely body Grian, but usually when Xelqua isn’t looking.

Pearl - Due to her leniency, Xelqua likes her. He can get away with anything when she’s around and generally doesn’t impose any harsh rule of punishment on him

Etho - He just thinks Etho is cool (usually because he keeps maple candies in his pockets). An Ethogirl in the making.

NEUTRAL!

Joe Hills - He’s a living Sesame Street styled puppet and Xelqua keeps mistaking him for a normal puppet toy. He once nearly suffocated poor Joe by hugging him a little too tight around his neck.

Xisuma - Barely sees him and for good reason. Xisuma has enough on his plate as admin, he doesn’t need to have to add “babysitting a god” on his plate as well.

Impulse & Skizz - They help Grian out occasionally to watch over Xelqua. Typical fun uncles you can find, but Xelqua doesn’t know much about them or why Skizz gives him the heebie jeebies when he unfurls his Angel wings or when Impulse reveals his full demon form.

Gem - Like Impulse and Skizz, generally friendly with Xelqua, but he’s unsettled by her, but he doesn’t know why. Maybe he senses that Gem isn’t truly a deer satyr and something to do with the rustling in the forests and night and the lingering smell of blood on her.

NEGATIVE…

Cleo - She’s scary to him. Like how you would be scared of the principal when you were a kid in elementary school.

Cub - All the fireworks he uses this season are too loud for him. He has to cover his ears everytime he has to go near the shop.

Joel - Xelqua keeps walking in in Joel in the most embarrassing moments. Like seeing him cry in front of the statue of his wife because she isn’t in the server, falling down an entire flight of stairs, reading Iskall’s creepy Yandere letters, etc. There were several moments where Joel had to cover Xelqua’s mouth because he was about to air all his dirty laundry.

AKDNDJSKAK

of course Scar is the favourite, Xelqua would love his builds, he’d like the animals and Scars silly voices and rambles. He’d also love Scar’s off road wheelchair/ATV, it’s so fast ! He’d absolutely eat all of Scar’s snacks, he’d be talking a mile a minute when Grian shows to pick him up, he just silently glares at Scar.

I love when people draw Doc with Doccy on the server, just a big scary goat and his little goat kid, it’s why he has a soft spot around Xelqua, he’s so tiny. Tho I can only see them interacting if Xelqua accidentally ends up in his base area, got lost maybe. I think Xelqua wouldn’t be scared of Doc despite his looks bc 1) he looks like Scar’s zoo animals (big Goat) and 2) Doc has a kid too, so he’s gotta be safe. Grian is very confused when he sees Doc calling him.

The Joe Hills part almost made me choke AKDNDKSK Joe being a puppet is my favourite design it’s so silly. Xelqua watches a lot of TV, he’d be in awe… so happy to see a real life puppet… Grian has to grab his hands to stop him from choking Joe out.

I think Xelqua would just be intimidated by Cleo at first, he’d warm up to her ! Him being scared of Cub bc of the fireworks is so true tho, Xelqua very much hates the noise and is actively afraid of thunder, he’ll wake Grian up if a storm rolls in at night, and probably hide behind him if a firework went off and no one told him it’d be so loud !

poor Joel 😭😭⁉️⁉️ tho if Joel grabbed Xelqua and covered his mouth like that, Grian is immediately there, he crosses the room so quickly man Watchers don’t play around abt their kids 😭💥 Grian doesn’t even realize he moved or separated them, for a split second his brain didn’t see this as a joke or playing around. Joel gets to see those purple eyes up closeeee and shouts

this was very cute and silly to read ehehehe, also for some reason I think Xelqua would think that Xisuma is Grian’s uncle, no idea how he came to this conclusion.

[defty-picklez]

If Scar was to win (ScarsweepScarsweepScarsweep) I think he should be the Earth. Grian and Scare are so Sun and Earth coded. The Sun and the Earth circle around each other, Sun will kill the Earth eventually but he stays. The Sun flares but he stays.

The Sun gives warmth, the Sun burns. The Earth is charismatic and beautiful, the Earth kills and consumes. Scar-Icarus parallels from 100hours fits so well too.

He has green eyes and Convex based of of vexes are blue and ofc the brown hair. It's also a funny to think that the guy who symbolizes the Earth is a capitalist. Cub can be Kepler and should be in my opinion.

Mumbo could be Black holes. No explanation.

I think Tango would be Comets, the visual of his fire hair fits and I feel like there's probably some symbolism but I don't watch Tango that much sorry.

Joel needs to be Jupiter because of his inspiration from Zeus. Bigbeans being the biggest planted is also funny.

Also, if Grian is the Sun then how about Bdubs? The next best thing I could think of is either Time or Light. Personally I think he should be Time, it's thematic. If I remember correctly, he's killed people because of clocks, the moment he gets the clock someone's death is inevitable. Time makes death inevitable.

So Etho is the Void right? Like canonically if I remember correctly? I'm not sure. So like the Void/Space? Etho and Bdubs being Space/Void and Time is cool.

Cleo is fit to be Death, no explanation too.

Bigb being Mercury would be funny because Mercury is the god of communication and he gaslights gatekeeps and girlbosses. He's also closest to the Sun so blud gets burnt like a cookie.

So like- Neptune the god is related to Jupiter the god but we're NOT PUTTING that in the symbolism here. Anyways, Lizzie could be Neptune because of her being the blue axolotl in Empires season 1 because Neptune is related to the sea.

Maybe Gem could be Pluto because she's new?

Jimmy, canary boy, he was fated to die so maybe that's his thing. Fate itself was Fated to die. Also, fortune telling by using the stars, Astromancy, is a thing so Flower Husband fans there you go.

Ight, hear, me, out. Skizz. As Venus. Because love island. Think about it.

Sorry I really don't know what for Ren and Impulse. Please tell me if you have any ideas, I would love to hear them.

[watarfallar]

Do y'all want more of this or something else for next time?

Mumbo: There's beer in the cooler. Lizzie: What about for the children? Mumbo: You can get water from that water fountain and use it to water down the beer. Joel: Why don't we just give the kids water? Mumbo, angrily: I suppose you could do that!

Gem: You know, I always wanted to be somebody. Scott: You probably should have been more specific.

Lizzie: I'm a witch. I mixed some herbs and crystals together and now my cat knows the f-word.

Ren: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Grian: Yeah- Gem: *kicks in the door*

Joel: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk? Martyn: *sighing* Scott. Scott: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die. Impulse: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

Skizz: Pros and cons of dating me. Skizz: Pros. You'll be the cute one. Skizz: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Judge: Does the defendant have any special requests? Tango: Death penalty. Skizz, from the gallery: Tango, it’s just a parking ticket. Tango, whispering into the mic: Please kill me.

Gem: You’re overthinking this. Jimmy: You don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, Gem. What if I’m underthinking?

Mumbo: Hey, Cleo? Can I get some dating advice? Cleo: Just because I'm with Etho doesn't mean I know how I did it.

Pearl: What's your most controversial video game hot take? Grian: The pursuit for photorealism in games is a fruitless endeavor that only results in bloated file sizes that take too much space. Etho: Mario is a woman and just really butch.

Scar: Bad news—Impulse locked themself outside of their own house. Scar: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Scar: Bad news—Mumbo finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys/girls/enbies. Scar: Good news—a cute guy/girl/enby saw me do it. Scar: Bad news—it was Grian, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.

Jimmy: Truth or dare? Grian: Dare. Jimmy: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. Grian: Hey Gem? Gem, blushing: Yeah? Grian: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Etho.

BigB: Isn’t it weird how we pay money to see other people? Skizz: You mean movies? Ren: Concerts? Scar: Prostitutes? BigB: Wha…N-no, I mean glasses, what the fuck-

BigB: I truly hate it here <3 Scott: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it? Jimmy: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women? Tango: Now replace “funny” with “women”. Not so women now, is funny? Mumbo: I’m having a fucking stroke. Jimmy: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!

BigB, about Jimmy and Tango: My god, would you two just get a room already? Tango: Excuse me, BigB? BigB: You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding? Jimmy: ... Lizzie: I ship it! Skizz: CAN YOU NOT?

Grian: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange? BigB: Which came first, the orange or the orange? Impulse: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago. Scott: What was the color called before then? Pearl: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

Gem: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Impulse: Okay, my name is Impulse but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. Gem: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Ren: I'm Ren and I like the movie White Chicks! Gem: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Bdubs: My name is Bdubs and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... Gem: Okay... and you... Scott: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Scott and my favorite color is... math.

Impulse: Eugh, Ren. Bdubs: Remember when they tried to kill us because I wouldn’t marry them? BigB: They’re always trying to trick me into giving them my house! Mumbo: One time I caught them stealing my moisturizer…

Bdubs: Mumbo, let’s go! Mumbo: Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter. Bdubs: Okay, you know what? That’s it, you had your chance. Mumbo: What-? Bdubs: Mom, Dad, Mumbo smoked pot in college. Mumbo: You are such a tattletale! Mumbo: Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was Etho who was smoking the pot but... It was me. I’m sorry. Bdubs: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboy’s, Mumbo did. Mumbo: Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing Bdubs did. Bdubs: Mumbo hasn’t worked for a year! Mumbo: Bdubs and Etho are living together! Bdubs: Mumbo married Grian in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN! Pearl: I love Jacques Cousteau! Grian: I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle! Gem: I wanna gooo!!

Scott: “I miss you” is the nicest text you can receive. Impulse: “I bought a monster truck.” Cleo: You’re both wrong, it’s “I have too much money, you can have some.” Gem: “I got you pizza.” Scar: Fools! I present to you this: “Bdubs is driving to your house right now.” Impulse: “Bdubs had too much money so they’re driving to your house in a monster truck with a pizza that they got for you.” Scott: “…Because they missed you.”

PLUS A BONUS HERMITCRAFT ONE:

Xisuma, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Impulse: Hey. Scar: Hi. Grian: Hello. Mumbo: Hey! Xisuma: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Gem: We were out of Doritos.

[lolli-popples]

Someone has probably already done this, but I'm gonna do it anyway. We're going to go over the average scores of players in the Life Series. BUT ALSO, we're going to go over the average score of players if you don't count their lowest placement in the series, and the average score when you don't count their highest placement to see how much that changes the order.

Quick note: I'm converting the scores in percentages so that way we can compare Last Life's scores to the other series accurately. The lower the percentage, the higher the placement. 100% is last place. (So that's Jimmy's score every time lmao) Also the percentages are rounded, as very few divided evenly. If they have decimals after, it's because there was another score close enough to theirs that it mattered.

Average Scores:

Pearl; 20% (averages 3rd place)

Martyn; 22% (3rd)

Scott; 28% (4th)

Grian; 41% (6th)

Impulse; 44% (6th)

Etho; 46% (6th)

Ren; 49.3% (7th)

Scar; 50% (7th)

Bdubs; 52% (7th)

BigB; 54% (8th)

Cleo; 57% (8th)

Joel; 63% (9th)

Tango; 72% (10th)

Lizzie; 76% (11th)

Skizz; 89% (12th)

Mumbo; 94% (13th)

Jimmy; 100% (14th)

It's pretty interesting to see the gap between 3rd and 4th place. Pearl, Martyn, and Scott all have really good scores.

Anyway, if you just wanted to see the average placements we're done now, but if you want to see how much this list is affected by players having 1 really good or really bad game, then keep reading under the cut.

Hello people who are still here, how are you?

So, let's see what happens when we don't count everyone's lowest score. To explain, Joel has placed 11th, 5th(but technically counted as 4th because last life is weird), 8th, and 12th. So here we would take the average WITHOUT the 12th place score, as it's the lowest. This helps us see whose placement is skewed the most by one particularly bad game.

Scott; 14% (2nd)

Martyn; 15% (2nd)

Pearl; 16% (2nd)

Grian; 30% (4th)

Impulse and Ren; 31% (4th) (Yes, they are perfectly tied)

Etho; 40% (6th)

Bdubs; 42% (6th)

Scar; 43.6% (6th)

Cleo; 44% (6th)

BigB; 46% (6th)

Joel; 55% (8th)

Tango; 64% (9th)

Lizzie; 76% (11th)

Skizz; 87% (12th)

Mumbo; 94% (13th)

Jimmy; 100% (14th)

Some cool facts about the data set! The average amount changed is 8%, 35% of scores were above this, and 65% were below this.

The person whose score changed the least was Jimmy, as Mumbo and Lizzie's scores don't change because they only played in 1 series. The person whose score changed the second least was Skizz at 2%

The person whose score changed the most is Ren at 18%, followed by Scott (14%), Impulse(13%), and Grian(11%).

Okay now time for excluding the highest score. Using the Joel example again, this time we would not include his 5th place placement. This helps us see whose score is skewed the most by one particularly good game.

Pearl; 26.5% (4th)

Martyn; 27.3% (4th)

Scott; 35% (5th)

Etho; 50% (7th)

Grian; 52% (7th)

Impulse; 54% (8th)

Scar; 60% (8th)

Bdubs; 62% (9th)

BigB; 62.6% (9th)

Cleo; 66% (9th)

Ren; 68% (10th)

Joel; 74% (10th)

Lizzie; 76% (11th)

Tango; 76.3% (11th)

Skizz; 91% (13th)

Mumbo; 94% (13th)

Jimmy; 100% (14th)

Interesting things about this data set! It has the biggest drop off between 3rd and 4th. In the original it's a 13% difference, in the positive leaning ranking it's 14%, and in this ranking it's 15%.

The average percentage changed is 8%. 45% of scores were below this, and 55% of scores were above this. The person whose score changed the least was Jimmy, followed by Skizz(2%).

The person whose score changed the most was Ren at 19%, followed by Joel (11%), Grian (10.6%) and Scar (10.5%).

Overall, Jimmy's score changed the least, as it didn't change at all. Skizz's score changed the second least, with a range of only 3.5%.

Ren's score changed the most, with a range of 37%. Ren is followed by Impulse (22.6%).

So yeah. Now you know a ton of random statistics, and I can rest knowing that all the math I did is out in the world. If any of my math is off, feel free to point it out. I did a lot of it with unrounded numbers and than rounded them in this post, so it might seem off because of that, but I also did some of it with the numbers already rounded, so it might need to be corrected, either way, letting me know is good.

I might update the regular averages after a new season, but I am not updating the other ranked lists, that would be hell. Bye!

[enpr-ss]

Wild Life Immortal Snails Episode 3 Liveblogging

Omg the snails are so cute. Wait did it happen before the wild card screen? WAIT THEY INSTAKILL THEM??? FROM LIKE 3 BLOCKS AWAY????? THE PUNNY NAMES HAHAHAHA Slimedarity, Ethostropod, Tangastropod, PearlescentSnail, Bdubsnail, eSCARgo, Snailman, Renthesnail, InTheLittleShell, Snumbo, Gary, BigbShell, iSnail Who made the skins? The names? The coding? No wonder all the budget went into this. No wonder everyone dropped like flies. These snails ARE ZOOMING WHAT. THEY CAN FLY??? WITH THE RAINBOW PROPELLER CAPS??? THE YAHOO? THE ANIMATIONS????

You know, I had my doubts about the wild life gimmicks, felt too random to be a good series, but this proved me SO wrong. Worth it. Grian bringing this bit from hermitcraft is SO GOOD.

THEY SPAWNCAMPED BDUBS LOL. Do they have rainbow parachutes if they are flying for longer? The horse / a ridable mob actually coming in useful for once. The giant grin on Bdubsnail is SO creepy and hilarious.

JIMMY JUST DIED TO A CREEPER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE??? HE WENT FROM 4 TO RED IN LIKE 20 MINUTES AT THE START?!!?!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING??

Of course Etho thinks about how to abuse this game mechanic. To make it worse for other people even. HOW DID MUMBO DROWN OF ALL THINGS??? THE TIMING???

Jimmy killed Ren???? What??? It’s gotta be a negotiated one right. No way it’s a trap or straight pvp. Also interesting limited life mechanic of gaining a life back when you kill someone of a different color.

Etho and Martyn’s adventures in the nether!! The snails are SUCH a good mechanic to keep up the pressure. MARTYN DIED TO AN ENDERMAN WHAT Oh the snails paraglide when they teleport. Nice.

The mocking of Tango’s wood house burning down. The meta knowledge of when a yellow mutes themselves, it’s about a murder plan. Hilarious that Etho left in Gem’s calling his insecurities out. Wait Skizz is on red after killing Tango? Which meant he went from yellow to red twice? Wait drowning the snails passes it onto the player? Why? Also in hindsight hearing Mumbo faintly being surprised about this when Etho was talking with Martyn makes a lot of sense now.

Everyone humoring Etho’s tuff guy wet kitten act…. If it was anyone else they would be mocking them to shreds. AND THEN HE GETS CREEPERED DESPITE BEING WARNED BY THE ENTIRE GROUP HE WAS JUST MENACING HAAHAHAHAH TANGO. THE TIMING. “Where is mine?” The snail lets out a war cry and goes for the kill and then rainbow parachutes down with a Wow! Absolutely perfect scene. The snails are the perfect observation test that so far only Gem and Joel are passing. Omg the snails do make random goblin noises even without stimulus. The propeller cap and helicopter noises are so good. I’m surprised it didn’t teleport to him.

Etho’s bullying the Parrots and Scar in particular LOL. And then his family bullying about what’s cool. Them trying to give Jimmy a life / kill but he fails so hard hat not only did no one take a tick of damage but he destroys the base instead.

Ah yes the tnt minecart death coaster that everyone saw coming except Skizz. Who’s back on red AGAIN. TANGO’S ON RED?!?!? THAT’S 5 TO 1!!!

Wait why is Grian’s Gary?

Also this is similar vibes to that time on secret or limited life when they were screaming for Grian to end the session. Etho really did influence Grian to end it lol. Does all the deaths keep happening in Etho’s peripheral vision?

What a chaotic session. I can’t wait to see everyone’s POVs. Truly a Halloween theme, what with the creeping horror of pursuit predator snails dressed up in costumes. I want to see all the skins and the names and the voices and animations.

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[grimaussiewitch]

Life series alliances and enemies I want to see!

(BIG DISCLAIMER: All of the people in the life series are friends and will choose what happens in an improvised series, me wanting two people to be rivals like Renchanting vs The sand hippies doesn’t mean I want them to hate each other in real life, this is a for fun post as season 6 is coming very soon)

Alliances:

Grian and BigB: They have gotten close a few times but never a long series alliance. I really love their friendship and I want to see them team together more than one episode.

Mumbo and Scar: I loved how they were in early episodes of secret life, a long series alliance would be so cool, especially if Mumbo last longer.

Scott and Tango: We’ve only seen bits and pieces of these two but I think it would be interesting. Some people have been rude about these two teaming so there’s a bit of spite in there too. I just think it would be cool to see.

Cleo and Jimmy: Even less interactions. Why these two? I don’t know, I think they would make a great alliance. Probably best work with a third person so I shall suggest Pearl or Bdubs here.

Ren and Scott: I am not over third and last life with these two. I don’t want them as enemies or fighting to the death, I want to see Ren and Scott be allies. Be bros. I want to see theatre kid Ren with Scott okay?

Lizzie and Etho: Sorry Joel, your wife is teaming with your ex-soulmate.

Joel and Pearl: Please please please please please- I just think they would be neat :3

Scott and Joel: While I really want Joel to take Scott’s final life, I would 100% down with these two teaming. What a great alliance it would be to be with the guy you tried to kill multiple times! In other words, I think it would be funny for me. That’s the most important thing.

Any combination of Skizz, Mumbo and Lizzie: Our guys that weren’t in double life, I need these three to interact more okay?

Martyn and Grian: I know someone asked Martyn to make a one side homoerotic relationship with Grian next season but I would be so down for a team up. Yeah yeah they were in Southlands together but I want just them as a duo.

Ren and Martyn: “hey didn’t they already team?” Yes and? I have been waiting for so long for these two to talk again and Ren might not be in this season again. I don’t have any evidence to say he won’t but I’m not getting my hopes up again.

Lizzie and Pearl: We got a taste of these two in secret life and I think they would have a solid alliance. Plus red life with these two? Two wet cats with a taste for blood? Sign me the fuck up.

Enemies:

Pearl and Gem: “uwu wouldn’t it be so cool if they were together and pearl helped gem win?” Fuck no. I want blood. I want them at each other’s throat. I want Pearl to actively take Gem’s final life. You had murder camel, let me see these two fight to the death okay? Fuck an alliance I want murder and death.

Martyn and Tango: Watchful eyes would see that over the seasons Martyn and Tango have a sort of rivalry or at the very least Tango is bullied/teased by Martyn. Rarely have they been on the same page. Therefore, I want them to be official enemies.

Tango and Skizz: I don’t want them to be actual rivals, it just would be nice for Skizz and Tango to branch out from each other as they have teamed in every season besides third and double life. Being rivals is a treat.

Impulse and Skizz: Same as above but more because they are best friends, I would love to see them tease each other lol.

Pearl and BigB: I don’t think this would happen but it would be something new. Especially how Pearl wanted BigB to win limited life when they were the nosey neighbours.

Scott and Joel: Pretty please take Scott’s final life I love the guy but I need Joel to do it please please please-

Ren and Martyn: Yes I want them to be alliances again but enemies? Oh? Oh ho? We had a taste of this with last life’s final four battle royal and Martyn confirming that he was always going to betray Ren. I need to see that.

Bdubs and Etho: Purely for the angst <3

Mumbo and Grian: I love these two so much but proper rivals would go so hard. Bonus if Scar is teamed with one of them lmao.

Impulse and Bdubs: It won’t be brought up but I think the clock grudge lasting all the way to season 6 would be funny as hell.

Bdubs and Joel: Short.

Cleo and literally anyone: She is very scary as an enemy not in a “Cleo would beat your ass” she couldn’t, but in a “they will hurt you with words”

Anyway who do you want as allies or enemies in season 6?